Do you have to quit your day job + do something socially accepted as spectacular to be worthy?
These questions reveal where the lower mind goes sometimes!
“I'll have truly arrived once I release my day job.” This thought line has been part of my spiritual journey. Maybe it’s been part of yours, too. Our passions, interest + desire to serve are legit ways spirit speaks through us to motivate.
I’ve struggled with this notion of having truly arrived, and I’ve seen countless others struggle with it. We’re not alone here.
There’s been a niggling gap—between conceptually knowing there’s nowhere to get to, nowhere else to be, nobody else to become—& simply embodying the truth of it.
This is a gap between believing and knowing. It’s why belief is a poor substitute for integrated correct knowledge. When you know something, you know it. Your visceral experiential knowing cannot be persuaded away, especially as you gain maturity and examine it.
As a society, we build systems up on systems to condition the innate inner compass of knowing out of our children. We wipe it clean & insert incorrect knowledge. We rush them through life, so they don’t have a chance to reflect or be bored enough to let their creativity flow. We give them standards to achieve that look like goals worthy of our attention, because everyone else is doing it. And what’s met is never enough. Because we are not tending to what matters, us, our self-realization, getting to know who we truly are and what we’re made of.
Basically, we are consistently distracting ourselves, so we keep our kids distracted and in continuous competition, never enough, ever striving, without the time to chill and wonder.
We pluck our kids out of the electrifying holistic lessons of the forests and gardens, waters and mountains and nose them up to flat screens and algo-controlled group think.
We are born with an inner drive for evolution, growth, love, and truth. As kids, our inner compass took us outside, and all of life was a curious exploration. This inner compass all too commonly gets abused or squeezed out of us early on—by our care providers and the systems put in place by incorrect knowledge and unquestioningly adhered to by those molded by the system.
Once you really come back into contact with your inner compass and inner knowing, everything shifts. The judgment drops. Awe comes back online. We are able to see the gift in every experience. Every. single. thing. No exceptions. So, marks the dawning of a great love affair with life. No matter what your profession, hobby, or any other identity—and through the ebb and flow of all of these.
And here’s the beautiful thing: We are designed to learn, grow, experience bliss. We are drawn toward Truth. We are called toward Love.
Not truther truth or unrequited love. Though, these may be stations we visit or songs we listen to along the way. I’m talking about the truth and love without opposite, which words can point to, but words aren’t the thing.
There’s a gap between the word as concept and the word met, integrated, explored, reintegrated, and known. It’s a knowing that blossoms infinitely, like the thousand petaled lotus ever unfurling her petals of grace.
So, how do we move from believing to integrated knowing?
Practice. Have a daily practice of silence. I teach kriya meditation. A base practice of silence done consistently over time is invaluable.
Gratitude. Spend time every day tending to the garden of your heart. Allow it to bloom open till it includes every every everything.
Detachment. Stop trying to micromanage the timeline & its content. You don’t control anything other than your response & your daily rituals. Set yourself up with conscious daily rhythms and offer up the when, how, and what.
Get support. Tune into wisdom. Give up complaining and telling the same stories about how and why you are stuck. Surround yourself with wise beings who reflect your light and strength.
The truth is everything in our lives is part of our growth, unfoldment + spiritual practice:
✨ The businesses we build
✨ The jobs we have
✨ The lives we craft
✨ The families we nurture
✨ The love + presence we share—every step along the way
✨ What would you add to this list?
Sometimes an official, ceremonial burn is needed to move forward. This slice of time couldn’t be more perfect.
I’ve done the quiet official ceremonial ends often enough, by myself, with my family, or while leading small groups.
Yet I’ve tended to launch the new without fanfare or announcement. I think this is for a continuum of reasons—the core of which is the discomfort of being seen.
A part of me is scared the new won’t work out. A part of me is embarrassed that the people who knew my tantrum-throwing, insecure self from before will think I’m a fraud.
Let’s break this down a bit, because it pretty much affects us all at one point or another.
Basically, the fear is saying I’m scared that the people who love me will ridicule me. (Love in this instance = think they love me, say they love me, that I want them to love me, that I have to prove myself lovable to them, these sorts of variations, which are counter to real love.)
The fear is still seeking external approval in order for me to simply do my own thing and be me.
Basically, the fear is pointing out where I don’t love myself enough to quit paying attention to others’ opinions. That I’m still carrying around these opinions of unlovability within myself.
Okay! Fear, thank you for bringing all this gunk up to the surface.
This is precisely what a life of yoga (unity + ever greater awareness—not to be confused with human pretzels) brings up: Everything that’s ready to be uprooted or transcended (ending the trance).
For me, there’s been a subsiding in the urgency to arrive somewhere. To arrive somewhere else. It’s on its way out, and here I am embracing all that is with peace and patience.
All my ‘working’ life, I’ve done something outside of work to make working for someone ok.
I worked my way through college + grad school.
Eventually I quit a pretty fun job to travel South America + live in Patagonia Chilena.
4 years later, I returned to the States married + 7.5 months pregnant.
Then I worked to support my family.
I worked to slowly furnish our home with organics, non-toxic everything, toys of open-ended play made of natural materials, beeswax, cloth diapers, herbals, all the things.
I worked to support my ‘yoga’ schooling, kriya, breathwork, meditation, esoteric texts, spiritual activations, tantra, energy medicine, Vedic astrology, business foundations.
Wherever I go, I go deep.
Over the past 14 years of being back in the States, we’ve moved 11 times—one of those times being to explore the country in a travel trailer.
Yet instead of feeling like I’m a badass at homemaking + adventuring with my husband and kids, I have felt like I’m not doing enough, because I still have a day job that’s not using my gifts as a healer.
As if it’s not enough to heal myself + be a better wayshower for my family?
When just to be a less ragey, more grounded, loving, spacious mom able to self-regulate is worth its weight in gold.
I’d gotten stuck on the notion that dharma, purpose, is one thing. Rather than a garland of moments offered in service.
As this sloughs off, I marvel too at how I’m no longer ruled by gaining approval.
It took a while for that layer to come off; it still rears its head on occasion. But I’m celebrating the undulation out of this layer, just in time for this epic summer solstice full moon.
There’s no part of my life not included in my spiritual practice.
I look back at the trail of miracles working for me + I can’t help but be in deep gratitude + awe.
The nuggets here are:
✨ Wherever you are, be there fully, as in EMBRACE where you are.
✨ Your unique view into life from where you are now is the gateway to infinity.
✨ The magic and miracles are here already.
✨ Where you are now isn’t forever, so enjoy it while it’s here!
This is the only sane way.
✨ Then, when you get to where you’ll next be, you’ll be there to enjoy that too.
What are you celebrating right now?
Claim it in the comments!
Thank you for sharing! Many call outs here — I think I drift along my intentional path, curious and enjoying, fascinated and drawn by people and life. Sometimes getting stuck and always getting out, (better off for getting stuck). Life is a controlled evolution.