What we worry about, we command into being.

The graceful unfurl of Love

What we worry about, we command into being.

Words from meditation this morning.

Last night, the lightning illumination of clarity struck as lightning does.

It happens in a flash, but the clear vision remains. The dark stays a little more in the realm of the known. In this ever unfolding manner, the unknown becomes simpler to access and less scary to dance in.

I have cultivated a life of deep self-reflection…

Through the written word,

Through meditation and daily sadhana, kriya, mantra, Himalayan kundalini & breathwork,

Through teaching and learning,

Through consistently connecting to Source, my guides and teachers in the ether,

Through communing with Nature all around and grounded, including in the eyes of my family as the we are of pacha mama,

Through activating this reverent grateful heart,

Through forgiving myself when I pitch a fit or commit what I passingly perceive as mistakes.

This is to say, the lessons roll in fast one after another. Life is filled with synchronicity and magic and wonder.

Sure, sometimes I want to be somewhere other than where I am. That idea of further along and somehow ahead rears its buoyant head. In the dark, I mistake the cute buoy as a flailing urgency that needs to be saved.

I’m human. I’ve come a long way. Yet I fluctuate still. But even as the fluctuations arise, I mostly see them. The gap between seeing vs identifying with them, widens.

The flash of insight started with a question that goes something like this:

If what you tend to grows, how is this showing up in undesirable patterns with the kids?

What am I commanding into being with my worries?

Worries are funny little things. 

For, what we worry about gets confirmed in the worrying. We find what we seek.

If we are worrying, we will find lots of reasons to worry.

It’s a self-fulfilling cycle.

How am I contributing to the ideas of not enoughness?

Especially where different-capacitied learning is concerned.

Instead of seeing progress, where am I still carrying the burden of catching up?

As a homeschooling mom, this has been one of my greatest challenges. And one of my greatest teachers and gift.

It is the gift of continually slowing down, re-establishing what matters most (relationship), and appreciating each of the kids just as they are, letting go of trying to learn their lessons for them—and settling back into learning my own.

Truly, I’m here to hold space for their growth, unfurling, blooming, shining.

I connect within to find the Love without opposite, beyond conditions.

So I can accept myself unconditionally and love them unbound.

There’s so much more I want to say. I’ll leave it here with my heart and wet eyes welling in gratitude and joy for all the lessons. In bliss that I’ve chosen this life where we get to learn and grow alongside each other.

The boys found me outside on the cold porch, typing in the rising sun. They’re getting goofy, one seated beside me smacking on a banana, the other one kicking at that banana while double fisting a toothbrush and a banana of his own.

My daughter just woke up. I hear her inside at the table asking about how to spell words akin to love.

“Happy Mother’s Day. Come and open your presents.”

They made me presents. Here I come.

What’s filling your heart?

Love,
Heather